


Did anyone babyproof the kerosene?

by UncomfortablyAware



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Chiaki 90 percent of the time: WhoSE KIds r DESe???, Don't worry Chiaki has this UNDER CONTROL, F/F, Gen, Junko is basically Sharpay Evans, Komaeda's the kind of kid to ignore his food and try to eat the plate, Mikan's gonna cry a lot ok it's just going to happen, Non-Sexual Age Play
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 07:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12164754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UncomfortablyAware/pseuds/UncomfortablyAware
Summary: "If you give him lucky charms he'll throw up in an hour!""I know, duh. I fed him skittles a minute ago and I'm trying to see if he'll puke rainbows."No one should have let Chiaki and Junko co-parent anyone. On the bright side, at least the world is already in shambles, so they can't cause any more damage.--A birthday present for my favorite piece of trash Marshmellowtea. May Shrek keep vigil over you on this holy night.





	Did anyone babyproof the kerosene?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marshmellowtea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marshmellowtea/gifts).



> Happy birthday Char. This isn't much a present right now, but it's a promise. I'll finish this fic if it kills me.

Monokuma’s voice screeched through the cafe’s PA system, startling Chiaki awake. She had dozed off during breakfast, her forehead resting on her folded arms and a bagel pressed against her cheek. She frowned and rubbed at her eyes, taking a tentative bite out of it as she waited for his cackling to end.

“Isn't it a beautiful, sunny day outside!” he finally exclaimed, the shreds of hysterics still coloring his voice. It was almost worse than the laughter. “Perfect for swimming and strolling and… murder!” He fell back into giggles, just the word enough to crack him up. “Anyway, all you little shits get down to the stage so I can announce a brand new exciiiiiiiiting incentive!” The speaker clicked off, and Chiaki was left sitting in silence.

She was half tempted to return to her nap, but if Monokuma was going to dangle something over her classmates’ heads, she should at least be there to see it. Reluctantly, she stood up and stretched, smoothing out the crinkles in her skirt and pushing her hood off, releasing a tangled mess of pale hair. She ran a halfhearted hand through it before giving up and trotting down the stairs. 

The sun shone startlingly bright into her eyes as she exited the building, and she had to blink a few times to let her vision adjust. The pool area was unsurprisingly empty. She didn't think she'd ever seen someone actually swimming in it, and had serious doubts that Monokuma kept it to proper health code standards, so it was probably for the better anyway. 

Once she had her bearings back about her she started off towards the stage, letting her mind wander as she walked. It had been weeks since the Togami incident, and most of them were getting along fine. She could tell Monokuma was growing desperate, throwing motive after motive at them, all of which were ignored. She let a little smile creep onto her face at that thought. Her classmates were so strong! She was very proud of them. Monokuma, on the other hand, seemed to be running out of ideas. Maybe if they kept this up, they could wear him out. She let herself hope that maybe this would be the last one.

The buzz of a lot of people talking over each other seeped into her consciousness, and she realized that she had made it all the way to the center of the main island on autopilot.

Most of the class was already clustered in front of the stage, and after a quick scan, she realized the only ones missing were Mikan and Komaeda. She frowned, worried. Who knows what kind of trouble Mikan could have gotten herself into, and Komaeda had just been let off of constant supervision. If he did anything suspicious now, they would probably lock him back up. 

People seemed to mostly be talking among themselves, but Hajime was looking around with that constipated look on his face that usually meant he was thinking about Komaeda too. She giggled quietly and made to walk over to him, but before she got more than a few feet Monokuma popped out of the slatted floor of the stage, startling all of them. 

He looked around, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, then grinned. “Looks like we’re all here!” Murmurs quickly arose from the crowd as people noticed the obvious absences, Monokuma’s quiet chuckling accompanying them. After he deemed he had raised enough ruckus, the bear spun and gleefully gestured towards the back of the stage. “So let’s bring out our special guests!”

Chiaki tensed like a caught thread. Did he have them? What had he done to them! Komaeda was one thing, the boy could clearly take care of himself if he wanted to, but Mikan of all people? A sick pit of worry sunk deep into her gut. Her classmates’ murmuring picked up as they careened down the same line of thought, and the crowd quickly grew to a frenzy. But  Chiaki didn't have eyes for any of it, her gaze trained fiercely on the stage where a hole in the floor had opened behind Monokuma. The sound of a whirring crank drowned out her classmates and something started to rise out of the hole. Wait, was that...? 

It was a crib. A giant, crib. It was colored in pastel blues and pinks, but something uncomfortably similar to blood had been splattered across the whole thing. Mikan and Komaeda sat docile inside, looking drowsy and out of it. Finally, the platform stopped. The two sat, glassy-eyed, and stared out at the rest of the group, who stared back, equally as clueless. 

There was silence for a moment, then, very clearly, Komaeda said, "Hajime is a naughty boy," and broke out into giggles. 

Chiaki, along with the rest of the class, stared dumbfounded at the boy, who leaned into a frightened looking Mikan, apparently laughing too hard to hold himself up. Monokuma laughed right along with him, turning back to them with a smirk on his smug plushy face. 

"As you can see, your dear classmates have the mental capacity of a couple of three-year-olds, so I didn't change much. If you want them back to normal- well I bet you smart kiddos can guess this, let's say it together class: SOMEONE HAS TO DIE! Toodles!" And with that, he dropped into the floor, leaving the group of sixteen-year-olds with a giggling Komaeda and a rapidly tearing up Mikan. As soon as he disappeared, the wall of the crib facing them dropped to the floor with a heavy clang. 

Everyone stood stock still for a moment, then, like time had restarted, they erupted into motion. 

"Oh my god, they're like actual babies!" 

"What the fuck?"

"That bear has crossed the line this time!"

"Hahahahaha! Stupid cow will be even more retarded than usual!"

"What are we supposed to do with them?"

“Can we just leave them like this?”

“Maybe if we just ignore them…”

Chiaki chewed her lip as she watched the quickly spreading turmoil. Monokuma was obviously setting up one of the two on the stage to be murdered. Someone who could only think on the level of a three-year-old couldn't defend themself, it wasn't fair! If someone didn't do something right now, she was absolutely sure they wouldn't survive the night. She looked around the crowd, hoping that Sonia or Hajime would be thinking the same thing that she was, but it seemed like both of them had gotten sucked into the chaos. Sonia was trying to separate Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko, and Hajime was being pulled towards Saionji by a far too excited Ibuki. Chiaki huffed at her classmates and stomped over to Nekomaru, whispering into his ear. 

"Of course Chiaki! I'd be happy to help calm the broiling passionate crowd," he grinned, then turned towards the rest of the students and cupped his hands around his mouth. "HEEEEEY!" Everyone stopped dead, clutching their ears. His voice had the cadence of microphone feedback through a wall-high speaker. "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO CHIAKI," he continued, unnecessarily.

She sidestepped him so she was visible past his bulk, her arms crossed and her face puffed out into a very stern expression. "We have to protect them,” she said firmly, “and if no one else is going to do it, then I will!” She turned on her heel and marched up to the stage, where Komaeda and Mikan sat, staring at her with big eyes. They seemed as dazed by Nekomaru’s foghorn of a voice as anyone else. She grabbed both by the hand and pulled them out of the crib and to their feet, the two stumbling up and into her and quickly latching on. 

“Does anyone have a problem with that?” 

The rest of the class continued to stare, offering a couple nods and a couple eye-rolls that Chiaki took for agreement. Seeing the normally passive girl get so heated outside of a trial surprised most of them, but Hajime shot her a slightly puzzled, slightly proud smile. 

No one objected, and Chiaki smiled. She didn’t know exactly why she felt so compelled to personally protect the two people on either side of her, but she knew that the only way someone was getting to them was over her dead body. 


End file.
